Being a Servant Leader During Emotional Conversations with UX Researchers

By Philip Burgess - UX Research Leader

As UX Research Leaders, we don’t just manage projects—we manage people. And sometimes, the conversations we have with our researchers are charged with emotion. Whether it’s frustration over a stalled project, anxiety about career growth, or personal stress spilling into work, these moments require us to lean into servant leadership. Servant leadership isn’t about control; it’s about care, empathy, and creating a space where people feel heard and supported.

Why Emotional Conversations Matter

Emotions are not distractions from work—they’re part of it. UX researchers, by the very nature of their craft, are empathetic professionals. But that same empathy can leave them more vulnerable to burnout, frustration with organizational barriers, or feelings of being undervalued. If we avoid or mishandle these conversations, we risk damaging trust and morale. Handled well, however, emotional conversations can strengthen team bonds and increase resilience.

Servant Leadership in Action

1. Listen First, Solve Later

Often, leaders feel pressured to “fix” the problem. Instead, take the role of an active listener. Maintain eye contact, nod, and give affirmations that show you’re fully present. Let them tell their story before jumping to solutions. Sometimes, being heard is the solution.

2. Validate Feelings

Acknowledging emotions doesn’t mean agreeing with every perspective. Saying, “I can hear that this situation is deeply frustrating for you,” demonstrates respect for their experience, even if you can’t change the circumstances.

3. Ask Open Questions

Use gentle prompts like:

• “What do you need most from me right now?”

• “How can we make this situation feel more manageable?”

• “What’s the hardest part for you at this moment?”Open questions give space for deeper reflection and signal your willingness to partner with them in problem-solving.

4. Balance Empathy with Boundaries

Servant leadership doesn’t mean absorbing all their stress. Set healthy boundaries by clarifying what support you can provide and what’s outside your role. For instance: “I want to support you through this project challenge, and I also encourage you to reach out to HR if you need additional resources.”

5. Model Calm and Compassion

Your presence is often more powerful than your words. Stay calm, keep your tone gentle, and avoid defensiveness. This models the psychological safety you want your team to feel in all interactions.

Best Practices for Leaders

• Prepare yourself: Take a breath before the meeting to clear your own emotions.

• Choose the right setting: A private, safe space—never a rushed hallway chat.

• Follow up: Servant leadership is ongoing. Check back in after the conversation to show you care beyond the moment.

• Reflect and grow: After emotional conversations, consider what you learned about your researcher, your team’s needs, and yourself as a leader.

Final Thoughts

Being a servant leader during emotional conversations is about leaning into empathy, patience, and humility. By holding space for your researchers’ emotions, you build trust, strengthen resilience, and empower them to bring their best selves back to their work. Remember: your role isn’t just to guide research—it’s to guide people.

Philip Burgess | philipburgess.net | phil@philipburgess.net